My Life..My World..Complicated..

Jeez..What A Day.....

2008-10-16T23:57:00.004+08:00

Today started really well and ended not too bad.. I left my house at 7 a.m.. Because I went to my boyfriend's house.. His family and I are quite close.. My brother stupidly left his school bag at home.. So instead of going straight to our next destination.. My mother had to make a u - turn back to the house.. Just to grab his schoool bag.. I'm tellin you that dude is so forgetful sometimes.. And it's not necessarily nice..

Proceeding to next destination.. I was so happy I was able to see him again.. I really miss him.. he and I are inseparateable.. Seriously.. I miss him even though he's in front of me.. I know that's crazy.. Here's a pic of him and me..

We went to Summit and watched House Bunny and it was hilarious.. Not to mention those special moments.. Huhu.. When we got back.. Farah and I had a little argument over something really stupid.. But we're okay now.. I was in such a bad mood not even my boyfriend could persuade me.. Oh damn he was pisses.. Something I've never seen.. Hehe.. In the end.. Everything turned ot well.. We're a big happy family..

God!!! I'm in love..

2008-10-15T23:00:00.002+08:00

...Yes..I'm in love again..Amazingly..After 8 heartbreaks.. It's actually amazing that I can fall in love again..I hope this time would be different..I feel loved..And cared about..I feel so amazingly in love..Never felt this way before..Wish we'll be together forever..This is for you...

Baby I love you and I'll never let you goBut if I have to boy I think that you should knowAll the love we made can never be erasedAnd I promise you that you will never be replacedI love you, yes I doI'll be with you as long as you want me toUntil the end of timeFrom the day I met you I knew we'd be togetherAnd now I know I wanna be with you foreverI wanna marry you and I wanna have your kidsThinking never compared to the feeling of your kissesI can say I'm truly happy to this dayYou made think I better live my life everydayThere's never been a doubt in my mind That I regret ever having you by my sideBut if the day comes that I have to let you go I think there's somthin' I should probably let you knowThat I enjoyed everyday that I spend with youAnd I will miss you but I'm happy that I had you at allBaby I love you and I'll never let you goBut if I have to boy I think that you should knowAll the love we made can never be erasedAnd I promise you that you will never be replaced(2X)I love you ohh yes I doI'll be with you as long as you want me toUntil the end of time

Intresting things have happened....

2008-09-29T00:50:00.002+08:00

Hey everyone..Sorry I haven't updated my blog in a long long long time..I've been busy and lazy..Hehe..

Saturday, 13 September..

I skipped choir today about an hour and a half before it ended.. It was quite boring as we were singing the same song over and over again.. I skipped with Farah.. My best friend..And we went to her house escorted by her brother, Rizal.. Haha.. We went to summit for a while then I broke fast with her and her family.. Ok.. Technically I didn't fast that day because I was given a leave.. Wakakaka.. You know what I mean.. Rizal was scaring the crap out of me because he knew I was a scaredy cat.. I regret admiting it.. So I chased him aroung the house and well he hit the sink and now it's unuseable.. Hehe.. That day was the best day of my life.. So, my mom picked up me up at 11.15 or so..

Sunday, 16 September

..I got scolded by my mom because she had a hard time loking for farah's house.. Well, we went to sunway to watch a sneak preview of Mamma Mia.. And it was awesome!!!! Jeez.. It was so lively and fun.. You should go and watch it.. I'm sure you'll laugh your heart out.. I give it a two thumbs up.. I haven't seen a movie so lively before.. It really was an enjoyable time.. You wouldn't believe what Merily Streep ( is that her name? ) did.. She claimed that she did it only to embarass her children.. Well, in my opinion.. It's the other way around.. If she was my mom.. I would be proud..

I'm feeling lazy.. Moday - Friday was a school day.. Normal school shit.. yadeeyadeeyada.. I slept over at Farah's house and ended up not sleeping at all with rizal still wide awake.. Ooooh.. What did I do with a guy? Hey!!!! Don't go running away too far.. I'm not that bad.. I'm a good girl;.. But not innocent.. Still.. I won't do anything bad.. Don't worry..

Last but not least.. Selamat Hari Raye Aidilfitri maaf zahir dan batin.. Please forgive whatever I did wrong.. Wether it was intentional or not..

Hey..This song is my favourite right now for a few reasons..

2008-09-19T22:38:00.000+08:00

My Brownie..

2008-09-19T05:02:00.003+08:00

It's 5 a.m..About half and hour ago..While I was having my sahur..One of my cats..An orange tabby named brownie passed away..

You might be wondering..Why is she so sad about a cat dying..Well folks..Brownie is a part of my family and we've had him for about 3 years..And he's the one with the loudest voice amongst the four cats that I have..Maybe for some of you out there..Dogs are your best friends..But for me..It has always been cats..Brownie was the cat that listened to all my problems..And somehow everytime I tell him my problems..He just sits down beside me purring..Without me having to pull him to sit..Cats are animals..They cannot understand our language..Actually they do..They just can't respond to what ur saying..At least..That's what I feel..

Brownie has his share of wrong-doings..From pooping on the couch to tearing up things..Oh he was a mischievous cat..

But he was my cat..MY BROWNIE...

Kiss me!!!Virtually!

2008-09-19T01:31:00.001+08:00

bgcolor="ffffff" align="middle" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" >

My day on the 18th of September..

2008-09-19T01:12:00.002+08:00

Hi everyone..I planned going to school today..But I still ended up at home due to the tremendous pain of my left ankle..At 12 p.m..I went to pick my sister up as she was also sick..We went to the clinic today..And I broke my fast at about 2 p.m because I couldn't stand the pain of it..It's irritating!!!!!I just had to take some painkillers..

Nothing much happened actually..Its just that I miss my dad so much..I'm used to him not being around..But I still miss him..He is my dad..Haha..My dad works in Sabah(my homestate)..He flies in about once every two weeks..So I get to see him..But not quite as often..I want to spend so much more time with him..I'm already crying..Hehe..

Papa..I miss you soooooooooooo much!!!!!!Can't wait till you're here again..

Note to my boyfriend..

2008-09-18T14:06:00.003+08:00

I NEVER said that I hate you..

I NEVER said I don't want you..

STOP making assumptions..

I do LOVE you..

Boyfriends are so insenstif...Sometimes..

2008-09-17T20:46:00.002+08:00

Ok..So I have this theory that guy-friends are more understanding than boyfriends..And boyfriends are supposed to love and care for you more than any other guy-friends that you know..Right?Or did I get that wrong...

Today is a holiday..There's not supposed to be any intresting story..But life is full of suprises right..Haizz..I'm so tired of geting hurt all the time..But I really love him..I don't want to let go of him..Not now not ever..But when we break up..All that means nothing..All the stupid promises that he made during the duration of your realationship will go into the dustbin..Trust me..No matter how much they say they love you..It WILL be in the dustbin when you break up..It's a first hand experince..So I know..But I still fall in love..Haha..Intresting right?

I'm the type of girl that doesn't like to hurt people's feelings..So I end up being hurt instead..I know..It's my problem..But I just feel bad when I hurt people's feelings..

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First 2 days of school this week and my luck is not so good...

2008-09-16T20:39:00.003+08:00

So..How's everyone today?I planned my day today to be quite normal..But sadly it wasn't..It wasn't normal in a good way..I SPRAINED MY ANKLE!!!!!!!!!!!And it hurts bad..Real bad..Well the story's like this..I was stepping into the school's boundaries through the side gate(our school has a side gate and a main gate)..And I tripped and fell causing my ankle to hit the very sharp edges of the staircase..And I can tell you it hit the edge really hard..So I literally didn't go to school today..

Yesterday..I almost fainted in school due to uncertain reasons..Oh yea..I'm still asking why I became like that..Maybe it was dehydration..Or it was just becasuse I was tired and the day was hot..And my uniform has the potential to choke me..Haha..I was joking..

So the title for this post is reasonable right?It was bad luck..Or..Just maybe..Clumsiness..Ooh!If it was because of clumsiness..I'll be so embarassed..I'll have to reminisce on what happened to get a clearer insight..Haha..

Intresting question..

2008-09-15T04:59:00.001+08:00

I f I were to die tomorrow..What would you say to me?What would you feel?
If you only had a day left to spend with me..What would you do?

It's a random question..I just wanted to know..

Answer the questions..

2008-09-15T04:30:00.003+08:00

Q1
if your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
Ah..Intresting question..Well it depends actually..If I really love them..I'll cry for whatever that was worth it..If not..I'd probably be angry and slap him..
Q2
if you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
1..Get flying colours in exams..
2..Make my parents proud..
3..Get real friends..
4..Get someone who really loves me..
Q3
whose butt would you like to kick?
I would kick whoever's butt that evr hurt my feelings..

Q4
what would you do with a billion dollars?
Erm..Firstly..I will save some for my studies in the later days..Then probably donate some to charity..And give some to my parents..
Q5
will you fall in love with your best friend?
I did actually..But we're not dat close this year..
Q6
which is more blessed? loving someone or being loved by someone?
Both actually..loving someone and being loved is equally bliss..
Q7
how long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
Depends on how deep do i love him and is it worth waiting......

Q8
8. if the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Let him off my mind and stop thinking about him and find another guy....

Q9
9. is there anything that has made you extremely happy?
A lot actually..No way of listing them all down..

Q10
10. what takes you down the fastest?
Dunno.... perhaps everything tat irritates me.....

Q11
11. how would you see yourself in ten years time?
A happy and successful gurl that has everything she wished for.... But of course i've got to study hard now in order to make tat wish come true....

Q12
who is currently the most important to you?
Owh.... tat's a piece of cake..... families, My Boyfriend and frenz of course~~~

Q13
what kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Kind... Good hearted... Friendly... Nice.... Caring....
Q14
would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
Er.... i'll choose neither of 'em!!! I'll choose happy , a little rich, and most of all, being love.... haha

Q15
15. what's the first thing you do when you wake up?
I would open my eyes?

The past month of my life is..So weird!!!!!!

2008-09-14T20:36:00.000+08:00

So..I broke up on the 27th..Hooked up on the 1st..Broke up on the 5th..And hooked up again..Today!!!!To a guy that I love so much..Hope he won't hurt me like the other 2..I never get bored of falling in love..I'm not playing them..It's just that I move on quite fast..Can't blame me for that..:-)

I don't know why I keep falling in love..And 95% of the time..It was with a totally pain in the ass fucker..I'm not gonna list their names down..Too embarassing..

The guy I'm with right now is really sweet, nice and hilarious..So I enjoy being with him..Not gonnna tell you his name..Cause he wants to keep it a low profile thing..Which I haven't had for quite a while..Cause most of my ex-es told ALL their friends and some of them told teachers too..(creepy!)..I think they just wanted fame..To prove that they can get anyone they want..Well to all you players out there..We girls AREN'T toys that you can mess with!!!!!!

We uaually have a strong network of close friends that WILL whack your ass if you hurt our feelings..Feeling intimidated?Hahaha..I was joking..

Most of us couple up because we really like that someone..We don't like to play people's feelings..It's just so cruel..But not all of us are like that..I've been hurt so much that I wish when I fell in love..I would fall in love with a nice and sweet guy..Or that I can think before making stupid decisions..But I guess when you fall in love..Everything is wonderful and happy..When you break up..Boom!!!Reality starts flooding back in your brain..And you can actually see him for the way he is..You can start accepting the fact that whatever people told you about him was one way or another..TRUE..And your're going to start feeling stupid cause you never listened to them..

Girls..If you really love that someone..You might wanna ask around first..To see what type of a person he is..

My sis favourite song..

2008-09-14T01:15:00.000+08:00

7 Things..Because it reflects a lot on what's happening right now..

shh shh shh
I probably shouldn't say this
But at times I get so scared
When I think about the previous
Relationship we've shared
It was awesome but we lost it
It's not possible for me not to care
Now we're standing in the rain
But nothing's ever gonna change until you hear, my dear
The 7 things I hate about you
The 7 things I hate about you oh you
You're vain, your games, you're insecure
You love me, you like her
You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don't know which side to buy
Your friends, they're jerks
When you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you
It's awkward and it's silent
As I wait for you to say
What I need to hear now
Your sincere apology
When you mean it, i'll believe it
If you text it, i'll delete it
Let's be clear
Oh I'm not coming back
You're taking 7 steps here
The 7 things I hate about you
You're vain, your games, you're insecure
You love me, you like her
You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don't know which side to buy
Your friends, they're jerks
When you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you and
Compared to all the great things
That would take too long to write
I probably should mention the 7 that I like
The 7 things I like about you
Your hair, your eyes, your old Levi's
When we kiss i'm hypnotized
You make me laugh, you make me cry
But I guess that's both I'll have to buy
Your hand in mine
When we're intertwined, everything's alright
I wanna be, with the one I know
And the 7th thing I like the most that you do ooh
You make me love you
shh shh
You do

My favourite song currently.

2008-09-13T23:30:00.000+08:00

I like it because it relates to me right now..

Pink - So What

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
Na Na Na Na Na Na
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
Na Na Na Na Na Na
I guess i just lost my husband
I don't know where he went
So i'm gonna drink my money
I'm not gonna pay his rent (Nope)
I got a brand new attitude
And i'm gonna wear it tonight
I wanna get in trouble
I wanna start a fight
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
I wanna start a fight
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
I wanna start a fight
So so what?
I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don't need you
And guess what
I'm having more fun
And now that we're done
I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright,
I'm just fine
And you're a tool
So so what?
I am a rockstar
I got my rock moves
And i don't want you tonight
Uh, check my flow, uh
The waiter just checked my table
And gave to Jessica Simp-
Shit!I guess i'll go sit with Tom boy
At least he'll know how to hit
What if this song's on the radio
Then somebody's gonna die
I'm gonna get in trouble
My ex will start a fight
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
He's gonna start a fight
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
We're all gonna get in a fight!
So so what?
I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don't need you
And guess whatI'm having more fun
And now that we're done
I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright, I'm just fine
And you're a tool
So so what?
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don't want you tonight
You weren't fair
You never were
You weren't all
But thats not fair
I gave you life
I gave my all
You weren't there
You let me fall
So so what?
I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don't need you
And guess what
I'm having more fun
And now that we're done (we're done)
I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright(I'm alright),
I'm just fine (I'm just fine)
And you're a tool
So so what?
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don't want you tonight
No No, No No
I Don't want you tonight
You weren't fair
I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright, I'm just fine
And you're a tool
So so what?
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don't want you tonight
Ba da da da da da

A dedication...

2008-09-13T16:45:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone...I decided to post this up for my loved ones..Which includes family,friends,teachers and my pets..I know..Pets can't read..It's just for fun..:-D

I know I've done some wrong doings..I really hope you would forgive me..I meant 'you' as in whoever that's reading this right now..I miss all of you..

Those who have stuck by my side..And putting up with my nagging and whining..And my heartbreaks..Not to forget my emo days and crying times..I know it's torture..But thanks soooooo much for being there for me..

You guys are the people who truly loves me..And I love you too..Thanks for lending me a shoulder to cry on..Giving me all the advices and actually shoving them in this hard head of mine..Crying with me..Soothing my broken heart..And embarssing urselves to cheer me up..Thanks soooooo much..

(Cats..Sory you have to listen to my nagging in the middle of the night..hahax..But you're the only ones that are trustable..)

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment it...

2008-09-13T00:05:00.000+08:00

1.Who are you?

2.Are we friends?

3.When and how did we meet?

4.Do you have a crush on me?

5.Would u kiss me?

6.Give me a nickname and explain why u picked it?

7.Describe me in one word..

8.What was your first impression?

9.Do u still think that way about me now?

10.What reminds me of you?

11.If you could give me anything,what would it be?

12.What do u like about me?

13.Ever wanted to tell me something but couldnt?

14.How well do u know me?

15.Are u going to put this on your blog and see what i say about u?

9/11

2008-09-12T23:42:00.000+08:00

Oh crap!!!I totally forgotten yesterday was 9/11 till my cousinn told me just now..And according to him..It was hot yesterday because of the heat coming from the crashed airplane..Hahax..Which I find it extremely odd..I mean..It happened in the states for heaven's sake..That's half way across the globe!!!!!The heat wouldn't reach here..We're in Malaysia..If we were somewhere closer though like in one of them states..Maybe we can feel the heat..I'm wondering how families who lost someone in that air crash feels right now..I'm sure it's sad..I mean they sort of lost their lives for nothing..

I'm not going against what those muslims did..But Allah didn't ask us to kill people..Yes,Allah hates them..But killing is sin no matter how you put it..The americans did not bother us that much(except Iraq)..So why kill them?Why destroy their happiness..What would you feel if it happened to you..I don't think you'd be happy..

I'm a muslim myself..And I'm quite a strong believer..So don't think that I'm siding on any sides..I'm not..I'm just telling you all my opinion..

RIP to those who didn't survive the air crash..May ur souls go to heaven..

Good morning....

2008-09-12T04:58:00.000+08:00

Ok..I'm online at 5 a.m. not knowing what to do..SO I just decided to post something in this virtual diary (?) of mine..Anyways..You know how some songs sometimes affect you and the way you feel..Like sometimes you can somehow connect with it..Amazing right? I've never really stop wondering why it can be so..Yet again,music is supposed to express people's feelings..And there's a song for most occasions..E.g. heartbreaks..Falling in love..Fighting..Feeling emo..etc,etc..

For me..There is one band that can really express how I feel..That band is MCR..Though people categorise them as an emo band..But actually they produce songs about how they feel inside..And I think that's all that matters..People have started to thin kthat music is suppose to sell..When music is created to tell people about that performer's feeeling..I can't write a song..But if I can..There's so much I want to express..My angst..My sadness..My happiness..Things that couldn't possibly be describe using mere words alone..I'm the type of person that doesn't like to be categorised..I listen to good music from any genre..As long as I like it..I'll listen to it..In the end..I wouldn't know who to write in my myspace or friendster profiles..Hahahax..

I'm starting to feel sleepy..And I've school later..So I have to sleep..If I don't..I'm bound to sleep in class..Maybe not..Sooner or later I'll post up some pictures..Though I don't really have any intresting pictures right now..............

Confused..Jeez..

2008-09-11T20:35:00.000+08:00

Today was a pretty boring day..But towards the end of school..2 boys in my class had a minor fight..Which of course I reported to a discipline teacher..And they hate me for that..Because I treated it like a big thing..Oh for crying out loud!I'm doing my duty people!Anyways..It ended nicely..Hahax..Now I'm trying to figure out why people like to steal things(including people)..Ain't it odd..Why can't you just ask for it(including people)..Oh crap..People stealing things(including people) happens often to me nowadays..It's so SAD..I'm not blaming anyone..But asking for something is more polite right?

People!By asking..You can decrease the risk of someone having a heartbreak..I'm also trying real hard to stop breaking people's hearts..Do I break people's heart?Maybe..I can't seem to remember..

Right now..I'm trying to get an inspiration for my PSV painting..It's so frustrating..

Ok..I have a quote from Byron..It goes like this.
"I liv'd, I lov'd, I quaff'd like thee..
I die: let earth my bones resign..
Fill up, thou canst not injure me..
The worm hath fouler lips than thine.."

So literally he's talking about his lover..About how she broke his heart..

Ooooh..EMO!!!

Fasting today was really tiring..It's amazing how 1 day of fasting can be so different than the others..An yet you think we'd get used to it..Actually,We NEVER get used to it..

That's all for today..
I'll update again tomorrow..
Insyaallah..

Ciaozzzz...

Forgetting the past..

2008-09-11T00:51:00.000+08:00

My family despise him..My close friends hates him..But I used to love him..And I still do..That's something I'm not lying about..His name is F..F and I used to be very close..He was the one I loved..He's the one who made my day..He was the cherry on a my sundae..But that's all in the past..I still can't get over him..Though he hurt my feelings a million times..I stayed with him..Until that one particular day..

It started when I was in school in the morning..I was so angry at him that I decided to just break up with him..I thought in my mind that I wanted a clean break up..But in the end I slapped him anyways..I regreted that..But later in that same day..I found out he was cheating on me..I felt so happy that I slapped him..Because I know that if I didn't..I'd probably never get another chance to do so..I don't think that he really even loved me..I think it was a joke..He didn't truly care..Cause' all he did was hurt my feelings..

But now..Thanks to the support from my family and friends(thanks very much!)..

I'm finally starting to forget the past...Thanks guys..Couldn't have done it without you!!!!!I love you guys so much...

welcome note..

2008-09-11T00:35:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone..I hope this blog lets you understand me more..As I'm gonna post all my stories in this blog..I'll try to post it everyday..Hope you guys enjoy it!